Over the past several years, Republicans have fought to arm their supporters to the teeth, fed them endless conspiracies and political victim narratives, and elected a sociopathic con man as their supreme leader. What could possibly go wrong? Today, we found out: thousands of Trump-supporting thugs assaulted the U.S. Capitol and the very fabric of our democracy. History was made, but for what worthy cause? Because their orange overlord lost, fair and square. We’ll say it louder for those in the back: trying to overthrow a legitimate government is treason, and Trump and his minions are proving what we’ve known all along: they believe in the virtue of “freedom” and in constitutional rights for themselves alone. Unfortunately, in their quest to preserve Trump’s power and “defend” their own interests, they’ve taken us all along for the terrifying ride.
2020 Sucked. Here are Your Horoscopes for 2021.
By Madame D’Anne Witkowski, soothsayer to the stars
There are few things that most people agree about, but as divisive as 2020 has been it has also brought everyone together to declare, “Wow. 2020 sure sucked.”
This means that 2021 has great potential! To be even better. Or worse. The bar has been set very low. But if 2020 has taught us anything, it’s that we can always go lower. But when 2020 goes low, 2021 goes high! Or gets high. I can never remember.
Here’s what’s in store for you for 2021. No take-backs.
How the Democrats became the “lesser of two evils” instead of the “Party of the People.”
Congratulations to President-Elect Joe Biden on giving America a reprieve from being gaslit 3x an hour on Twitter for the next four years, and to Vice President-Elect Kamala Harris for making history (in so many ways!) #thefirstbutnotthelast. To the rest of the Democratic National Committee? Well, let’s just say that if there was a greeting card for “narrowly winning an election against literally the worst person on Earth and then completely screwing up almost everywhere else,” that’s the one they’d all be getting. You see, it’s possible that 47% of American voters chose Trump because they, too, are sociopathic bullies with a penchant for white supremacy. But I think it’s simpler than that: We’re a divided party as it is, but we can’t even “fake it ‘til we make it'' to the White House because our messaging is even worse.